Today I feel... I'm not so sure.
I feel that somewhere deep down inside of me a little needle is pricking at my skin and trying to keep me awake, trying to tell me something, trying to give me a sign.
But I don’t let it, I tend to ignore the signs of life. That needle sews through my heart like it would when intertwining together a beautiful piece of soft, delicate Egyptian silk. Though I am not like silk. I am not soft or beautiful or delicate.
I am just me. Eden.
My beautiful colour's that once surrounded me are fading, now all I see, now all I dream, is dull greys and browns, blacks and blues. Sometimes a flash of pink or apple green may interrupt it but it never stays long, it see's my dull and dangerous colour’s and turns a blind eye, knowing that if it stays, it to will fade and eventually become just another colour that is worthless.
I’m not sure how I feel anymore, i'm not sure I know HOW to feel anymore.
My emotions are all merged in together so I can’t identify a single one, I cannot tell when I am happy, or sad, or in love or loved. I cannot tell that people need me or I need certain people.
I cannot tell, so all I do is sleep. Because then I dream, although the colour’s are dull, my dreams are not, my mind loves to escape and sometimes I get a glimpse of how my life could have been if I stayed.
Suzanna is still breaking. My heart is breaking with her. I feel no more love to give.
I will fix this though, because broken things are meant to be fixed right?
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About Me
- I Am Eden
- I am Eden. I am 23. I am ? ? ? ? Read my blog and tell me? I mainly write to my friend Taylor, and i am sad everyday because she isn't here. I probably think way to much, or way too little, either way you will find out..
1 comment:
Eden, Eden, Eden.
My sweet child Eden.
What has happened to us, my love? To where have our fascinations driven us?
One, at the bottom of a deep well--the other, alone in the middle of a great lake.
How will we find one another again?
For the moment, I feel there need to be no more cautionary tales.
We are strong, vibrant, capable young women. We have the world at our fingertips. (Another analogy would include: Oysters at our Feet, but that just makes me strangely ravenous.)
We may not have it all, but we're able to see what's worth having.
Actually, I think we both can see further than we give ourselves credit for.
And yes, sometimes our minds become weary from all that they have known, and our shoulders ache from the weight which they carry, and our stomachs are ill at ease with the things we are forced to swallow.
But the magic trick?
Perseverence. Simple accomplishments are the most worthwhile.
We are us, Eden. We have as much luck as anyone else. Let no one make you feel small, my love.
You are Great. You are a World within which Great Things Happen.
None of us are petty things.
We rule our own kingdoms, and I, for one, am committed to making mine Fabulous.
;)
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