I don't get better-i just get weirder..

Funny, isn’t it life?

I feel like I am on a train, as I look out of the window I see beautiful stops, stops I am aching to get off onto, but it just carry’s on, occasionally when (if) the train does come to a holt, the stops aren’t so beautiful as what I would like them to be, and then it takes an eternity to get back onto the train again. I am hoping that one day soon the train will stop on one of its beautiful stops and I can actually get off!

Whatever Eden, I am talking bull again, my mind is wondering, my colours have faded, the sparkle gone.

One of my favourite songs in the whole world is ‘Welcome to the Black Parade’ by My Chemical Romance, its sort of crushing but uplifting at the same time, strange:

"Do or die You'll never make me
Because the world, Will never take my heart
Go and try,
You'll never break me
We want it all,
We want to play this part
I won't explain
Or say I'm sorry
I'm unashamed
I'm going to show my scar
Give a cheer
For all the broken
Listen here
Because it's who we are
I'm just a man,
I'm not a hero
Just a boy,
who had to sing this song
I'm just a man,
I'm not a hero
I
don't
care”


Good huh Taylor? Do you like it?

I am so bored!!!!!!

Blah blah blah is all I hear!

Who the hell is Dr Zen?

I think desire can destroy people; the constant need for something only distorts what you have already got.

Must Have Thoughts

Others have a right to reject me if i am not right for them.
I have no right ever to reject myself.

Just because people put you down, doesn't mean you have to stay there.

The only way to change your life, is to change your life!

Life...some of its tragic, the most is magic!

Think funky or be defunked!

Open your eyes. Inspiration is all around you.

To create is magical but to co-create is miraculous.

Things just aint the way they used to be, and that is exactly how they are meant to be.

What is certain is this-I am enough whether i feel like it or not!!!

I miss you-Blink 182- The lyrics are like little musical treats!

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare.
The shadow in the background of the morgue.
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley.
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want.
Where you can always find me.
We'll have Halloween on Christmas,
And in the night we'll wish this never ends,
We'll wish this never ends .
Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you) Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you) Where are you and I'm so sorry I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight.
I need somebody and always,
This sick strange darkness Comes creeping on so haunting every time,
And as I stared I counted Webs from all the spiders,
Catching things and eating their insides,
Like indecision to call you and hear your voice of treason,
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight.
Stop this pain tonight.
Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you) Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)

Chocolate in all shapes and forms.

As i sit here watching Take That(let me take a moment to admit it is purely background music-but i strangely like it), on one end of the spectrum is Sebastian, on the other is...well something i do not like to think of.

I feel happy now, is it Take That or Sebastian?!

Hmmm, interesting..

Oh and btw-he bought revels-do you have them there? As you know i am quite partial to chocolate(the food not the eyes) but im trying to stay clear of the bag but it keeps looking at me begging me to eat its insides, so. not. good.

Do you remember how i hated the chocolate in Australia? I blame it on the milk!!

Letting Go

Some things in life, some people, you just can’t seem to let go,

You tend to hold onto them until your heart is tired and heavy, but you just cant ease your grip, because you know that a life without them is unbearable, a life without them is unthinkable, your life without them is empty, that your heart is whole when they are around and when they are gone you are broken, a million little pieces, a feeling I am getting used to now, because the person I cant let go of has let go of me, and I cant control that, I know that he has things to do, people to see, places to be, hearts to find again, but I will still hold onto him, in my heart, one of the pieces..

Travelling on the paintbrushes

Also i dreamt i could jump into paintings and travel via paint?

How wonderful that would be if it were true?!

Eden the dreamer

I keep having these bizarre dreams.
I dreamt I was at a door, this looked familiar, almost like i had been there before.
I looked down towards the floor, my suitcase.
I looked down at myself, shorts, and flip-flops, huh, it must be hot here.
I looked up towards the sky, fluffy candyfloss clouds and the sun in all its glory.
So its time, i bang on the door, nobody answers, i knock again.
"Coming!" a familiar voice shouts.
The door tears open and there she stands, of course i know where i am now, i know why i am wearing flip-flops and shorts, i know why it is hot and i have my suitcase, i take a step back, can this be for real?
Just as i am thinking this she says it out loud, also in disbelief.
"Hello Nush, I’m home." i say with tears in my eyes
"I thought you would never get here." she replied.
I woke up and thought to myself-will it ALWAYS be a dream?
I’m going to make sure it wont be!!!

Sebastian

Sebastian is gone now, i think he wanted to chase rainbows without me and Martin.

We miss him but we know he has to do this to discover himself...

Physco-analysis

Prince is a typical textbook ‘male’, he gets defensive when his morals and ego are challenged, void of showing any real emotions and becomes aggressive and violent when threatened.

Destiny is an illusion, therefore a fantasy, therefore not reality.

Is reality not what we make it? I hear you ask..

Is it not our material objects, our friends, our family?

Of course.

That is the actual reality of life.

The fantasy is how we perceive things around us.

How we judge, love, hate. Live.

Prince called me ‘mental’ this angered me as mental can mean such a variety of things, for instance deprived of ones sense of self.

Delusional is more fitting don’t you think?

Is mental somebody who cannot get in touch with reality?

When somebody is so desperate to be ‘normal’ fantasy and reality coincide and form a make believe world?

Prince thinks that fantasy and reality are the same thing, but what does Prince know?

This dictionary defines lonely as:
1.
affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome.
2.
destitute of sympathetic or friendly companionship, intercourse, support, etc.: a lonely exile.
3.
lone; solitary; without company; companionless.
4.
remote from places of human habitation; desolate; unfrequented; bleak: a lonely road.
5.
standing apart; isolated: a lonely tower.

Am i this lonely tower and solitary?