Vimrod and Monkton

I happened to stumble across the following website, it made me smile, and think of when I went to Australia, and when life was somehow simpler.

Enjoy Taylor:

www.campusgifts.co.uk

(I especially like the Vimrod magnets)

Lucia's cards

Just when you think everything is planned out, when you have made your plans and decisions, something always changes, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst. Or sometimes just somewhere in the middle, sometimes its a choice.

I had that choice and i decided, in hind sight this choice should have been made a long time ago, BUT it is now been made, my plans changed again.

Just like what Lucia said, when she read my cards, it is exactly how they were laid, exactly how she had foreseen.

So maybe i had my cards laid on the table all along?

Did these choices happen because my sub-conscious was aware of the cards, or did they happen BECAUSE of the cards?

Love

Sebastian says that love is a loosing game.

I think he is right.

Then what is a world without love?

Once you find it, you should never let it go..

Apathy

(also called impassivity or perfunctoriness)

Is a state of indifference, where an individual has an absence of interest or concern to certain aspects of emotional, social, or physical life.

Surviving

"Do you think i am a bad person?"

"Yes"

I looked into his eyes, agreeing.

I am not angry or retaliate.

I am not offended or defensive.

I look into his eyes and agree.

I walk away.

Every step becoming heavier.

Every truth suffocating me.

My eyes are dead now.

No more sparkle.

No more emotions.

My lips are crimson and my skin is pale.

My heart dull and broken.

My sparkle gone.

I cannot change what he or anybody else thinks.

I wish it didn't bother me.

I wish i could make it better.

I wish i were stronger.

My body is heavy and tired from the burden of it all.

My sparkle gone.

I think of him, and of her.

I think of all the people i love.

Of all the people i don't.

I walk away, no sparkle, no colours.

Accept who you are.

Accept who you will never be.

Be satisfied.

Survive.

Just survive.

Walk away and survive.

Keep dreaming, hoping and wishing.

Even if that is all you have.

Remember what you have.

Remember how you earned it.

Remember how you live it.

Just remember.

Just survive Eden.

Just survive.

Loneliness

Circles in the sky, white ivory trinket,
Caresses soft…touching,
The essence of the soul.
Anticipating, hoping, whispers of soft memories,
Left unspoken.
Leaning Grasses, purple fields, rustling winds,
An embodiment of the spirit.
Sing to the heart, world’s apart, white foam,
Blue horizons,
Untamed Sunsets,
All hold that song,
Careless words, once, twice, tattered souls,
Chipped walls and,
Faded yellow roses,
They somehow mark the years of silence,
Glass stained tears,
Encumber within me,
Shattered dreams,
Timeless love lost,
To the misery of locked heart,
I fall…with stains upon my soul,
Prevailing thoughts left untold,
Golden gates yearning soft goodbyes, among the darkness
I stand.
Alone……..

Some snippets of greatness..

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers, and you will know my name is the lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

In time we hate that which we often fear.

Our separation so abides and flies that though, residing here, goes yet with me, and I, hence fleeting, here remain with thee. Away!

Fall not a tear, I say; one of them rates, all that is won and lost. Give me a kiss.

I’ll make death love me; for I will contend, even with his pestilent scythe.

All strange and terrible events are welcome, but comforts we despise.

Angels are bright still, though the brightest fell; though all things foul would wear the brows of grace, yet grace must still look so.

Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like a thorn.

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.

Autumn

Autumn is almost upon us, one of my favourite seasons,
Its crisp, cold and beautiful, the leaves are hanging on to their branches, trying with all there might to last just a few weeks, days or hours longer, trying just to last.

When I wake in the mornings now the sun is just coming out and everything is quiet, for a moment it feels like the whole world is sleeping, happy to be dreaming colourful dreams, tucked up in bed, whilst Mother Nature is doing what she does best outside.
For a moment, it just me (and Martin of course-he is curled up in a ball on the bed)I look into the mirror, I stare real hard, though I cannot look into my own eyes, I don’t even know why, my mind wonders a bit..

Sebastian went home yesterday, (and his home is far away I can assure you!) I wonder what he is doing, how he is feeling, did he sleep OK? Of course he will still be in bed, so I hope his dreams are full of sweet things and beautiful colours and he wakes with a smile.

Look into the mirror Eden, look into your eyes…

Doctor Faustus is burrowed in the back of my mind, I am quite enjoying reading it, though I need to discipline myself and study more.

Martin is awake now, he looks at me, eyes wide, belly empty.

OK Martin OK, its just me and you now little man!