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Suzanna i fear is easily manipulated and her naivety sometimes gets the better of her, though through this i can see a beautiful young woman, scared of life, scared of loving, scared of living, scared of letting people down, i see so much of myself in her, in my eyes she could never let me down though i fear she is getting worse and my heart is breaking for her.

I am wracking my brains trying to figure out how to help her, comfort her, be there for her but i just cannot seem to find the answers. How can i tell her to "be strong" or "don't worry" when deep down i am so scared and broken myself.

Aren't families supposed to be "bonded" and connected in a undeniable way?

Why then do i find myself drifting away from them, discouraged and disappointed by her constant put downs and selfishness? I would love to take Suzanna with me but i have nowhere to go, nowhere where i can even call "home". I want so much to give her the answers that she is so desperately searching for, but i cannot seem to find the words.

I can never find the words..