"Do you think i am a bad person?"
"Yes"
I looked into his eyes, agreeing.
I am not angry or retaliate.
I am not offended or defensive.
I look into his eyes and agree.
I walk away.
Every step becoming heavier.
Every truth suffocating me.
My eyes are dead now.
No more sparkle.
No more emotions.
My lips are crimson and my skin is pale.
My heart dull and broken.
My sparkle gone.
I cannot change what he or anybody else thinks.
I wish it didn't bother me.
I wish i could make it better.
I wish i were stronger.
My body is heavy and tired from the burden of it all.
My sparkle gone.
I think of him, and of her.
I think of all the people i love.
Of all the people i don't.
I walk away, no sparkle, no colours.
Accept who you are.
Accept who you will never be.
Be satisfied.
Survive.
Just survive.
Walk away and survive.
Keep dreaming, hoping and wishing.
Even if that is all you have.
Remember what you have.
Remember how you earned it.
Remember how you live it.
Just remember.
Just survive Eden.
Just survive.
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About Me
- I Am Eden
- I am Eden. I am 23. I am ? ? ? ? Read my blog and tell me? I mainly write to my friend Taylor, and i am sad everyday because she isn't here. I probably think way to much, or way too little, either way you will find out..
3 comments:
Who said that to you? I will kill them!
Does it even matter?
It is true i suppose.
I got your letter yesterday, it made me smile, but you, like me, just feel like you don't fit-i am hoping the darkness will be lifted when we meet again?
Eat something delicious for breakfast OK-I had criossants this morning...
I don't know how many people actually feel like they truly fit in. I think it's easier if you grow up with a certain stability in your family life (something we both missed out on) because then it's easier to trust in the stability of things when you grow up. But I know some people who can make the most of any situation and come out on top.
That is not me.
Anyhow, what I mean to say is that I'm sure that most people feel out of place. I just don't know if it's like, a day to day thing, or if it only surfaces when they are thrown into the deep end of some situation.
Maybe we just worry too much. I know that's part of my problem. But how do you reconcile the fact that nothing is in your control, with what you want to achieve?
Some people manage to find strategems that work. I guess I am still on the lookout for mine.
PS: It is absolutely NOT TRUE that you are a bad person. I can say that with absolute certainty, because I know bad people. I am reading The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. Sink your teeth into it, will you?
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